Chemo Week 13

Yesterday was my first day back for Chemo after a 3 week break. It was a long day since we had a lot of testing to do before we started the next phase of my chemo. I first had an echo-cardiogram of my heart, and after I was done the nice tech gave me a special prize. I got a lip gloss making kit! It was so much fun making lip gloss with my mom in the clinic. After we left echo I had to have a CT scan to check for any new growth in my belly or lungs. The CT scan was clear and I was able to start my next phase of Chemo. After the CT scan we went back to the clinic for chemo and my mom and dad met with my daughters and went over the results of all the tests. I did very well with accessing my port and my mom and the nurses were so proud of me, this made me feel good inside! My mom and dad said it’s not always easy to do hard things but when I do it makes me happy and I think I can do hard things.

(Mom) I took Reece to school this morning and dropped off 3 other kids. On the way in they were all laughing and giggling, Reece had chemo yesterday but her spirits were high and her energy was pretty good and she was so happy! This made me smile and feel wonderful even after all she is going through she has always been pretty upbeat

(Mom) About 2 weeks ago Reece told me that her thumb and pointer finger felt funny and tingly. We were worried about her feet having nerve irritation but didn’t think it would start in her hands. We started noticing her struggling to button her shirt, open things, pick up small items, and hold her cup, pencil and more. So at the clinic yesterday we talked with the Dr’s about what has been going on and the cause is from “vincristine” drug which she has received 13 doses and it’s a vital treatment drug but we have to stop so the nerve irritation doesn’t become permanent. We talked with the OT and got some exercises to start at home and we will be working with the OT at her school. It is actually very difficult to watch her struggle with the fine motor skills that she has had since she was a small child. She is so patient and never complains about not being able to do these seemingly simple things. After she tries and tries she will then ask for help if she can get it. I am just so amazed once again at how well she is handling things. As much as she wishes she didn’t have to go to chemo any more she does well and tries very hard to understand that all she has to go through is only helping her.

As I’ve said before about chemo being like a double edge sward…it is something that will save her and we hope will cure her cancer but at the same time it can cause other problems to her body L  I know that modern medicine is vital and I am so grateful for this day we live in, the technology we have with science is amazing but there are those times that you hear about or go through first hand that “it’s not working, or we have to stop because its causing issues that may be permanent”. Yesterday I sat in the waiting room of CT and started talking to a lady who was there with her 3 year old granddaughter who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma last May. She has already had 3 different chemo treatments that haven’t worked L and they are trying something new yet again. I thought to myself. “How blessed are we, Reece was diagnosed, had the tumor removed and started chemo right away, 15 weeks into all this we got back good results indicating the treatment is working”. Why is this sweet child going through this relatively common cancer and they can’t get rid of it? Science has come a long way but our bodies are more complex than humans can fully understand. I do know that whatever happens to us s only to help us learn and grow and become stronger than we feel we can become. God put us here to test us, to help us learn, grow, explore and discover all we can. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes we don’t fully understand the complexity of the human body and why we can’t fix someone with a disease that has been successfully treated for years. Every person’s body is unique and these diseases that affect us are not always as similar as we think. Yet I feel that Reece so far has had a good outcome. She has had a very successful treatment, minimal issues, and minimal side effects until now, minimal complications. As hard as this has been I feel very blessed to have this experience go as smoothly as it has. Seeing first hand and talking to so many other parents and how their journey has been rough has been heartbreaking to hear about. Although our journey has felt relativity easy I feel for those who have things more difficult and go through much more than we have. It’s heartbreaking to watch these innocent children go through these unseeingly difficult trials to only be told that “it’s not working but we can try something else”.  I am grateful for all that we have been blessed with, good results so far and a good outcome with her disease. Reece has been so strong and pretty high spirits through all this at her young age. I honestly don’t know how I would handle all that she has gone through but I can say that as her mother I have to be “strong” maybe as strong as or even stronger than she is, I have to do this for her. Clinton and I have to do our part in this trail. The Lord didn’t just intend this trial to be for her… this is for all of us, for us as a partnership and family. I’m still trying to learn what exactly I am to gain from this or what I’m supposed to learn from this, maybe it will come soon maybe it will take years to find out what this was all for. I do know that every trial, every situation good or bad has a purpose and we will without fail “know” someday WHY?