Nov. 13th 2016
I have been thinking about this day and this month for some
time. My heart if more than full of gratitude and thanks for our sweet Reece
being with us today and being healthy. One year ago today our entire family was
struck with very devastating news. I remember the day like it was yesterday.
Reece was just our sweet energetic 5 year old girl, going to kindergarten and
playing like any other 5 year old would. She was so full of life and so happy.
It happened in a matter of 24 hours when our sweet happy go lucky and healthy
Reece went from being happy, energetic and fun girl to being admitted in the
hospital with a diagnoses of “cancer” and 72 hours later she was being wheeled
into an operating room to have her kidney and tumor removed.
People often asked me, “How did you do it? How do you get
through it all? How are you holding together so well? I can’t imagine going
through what you did and being pregnant.” I’ll be honest it took me about 2
weeks of being in denial before I came to terms that Reece indeed had cancer.
With every ounce of my determined mind I didn’t want to accept it, I even
didn’t say the word “cancer”. Some days were hard but then I realized that 2
things could happen….. 1 I can be unhappy, sad and miserable and continue to
ask why….. Or 2 I can move forward, take 1 day at a time, be positive, and find
Joy this Journey God has given to our family. I wasn’t going to pick the first
one, no way. I was pregnant and had a baby growing inside me and had a family
to take care of so right then I decided that I had to find Joy this Journey!!
Reece struggled a lot that first week and even the first
month, she was trying to understand what was going on, why she was in the
hospital, why she was now feeling so sick, why they poked her all the time and
gave her yucky medicine, why her hair was falling out….why, why, why? Watching
her was heartbreaking to say the least. There were good days during our journey
and there were really bad days. We tried our best to stay upbeat and positive
for her, we tried to see the good from the situation and not focus on the bad.
I worked hard to find the “Joy in our Journey”. Was it easy? ABSOLUTELY not!
But was it worth it? Absolutely yes! I’m sure some people will find my response
appalling when I say, what we went through was a blessing not a curse.
I know that God lives, he loves ALL of his children, he has a
plan for us and we have to be willing to accept that plan. We chose the life we
have, we knew what we would be part of, we just don’t remember it. This life we
have been given is a gift. We were not sent here to achieve complete greatness
without any real struggles or trials and heartache. We were sent here to be
tested and tried and yes many of those trials are going to be difficult and
some downright dreadful, but NEVER will we be alone in our trials. “God never said it would be easy he only said
it would be worth it”. I see that now after one year watching Reece go through
so much pain and suffering and heartache and for what? This journey was for
her, for our family to received and achieve a greater blessing, it was for all
the friendships we made, all the people we met along the way, for all those who
touched us without even knowing they did. This was probably the biggest test of
faith I think I could go through. This was a faith building trial. Blessings
come in all forms and this Journey was a HUGE blessing.
Some days I still feel like we are just getting started and our
Journey is just beginning. We are not done yet, although Reece is currently
cancer free, and has no signs of cancer, our Journey is still not over. She
will continue to be watched, continue to have tests her entire life. I hope and
pray that the Journey God has sent us on will help us grow even more and
achieve more. Looking back one year ago I know for sure that I am not the same
person I was a year ago and for that I have nothing but a full heart and to be
grateful.
