BabyCubby blog post

I had the privilege to write a blog post for a online store/blogger. It was a very humbling experience to say the least. I was able to really think about things "after" the fact and see it from a different perspective as a mom who has been through the battle. 

http://www.babycubby.com/baby-cubby-blog/meet-erin-what-my-daughters-cancer-taught-me/

Ten months ago I was a “typical mom”. I woke up, got the kids dressed, fixed breakfast, got kids off to school, cleaned the kitchen, started the laundry, cleaned the house, and went grocery shopping, and so on. Then in a matter of 24 hours my life changed in a way I never imagined. My “typical mom” life was interrupted by cancer.

My daughter Reece was 5 years old when she was diagnosed with a “Wilms tumor” (kidney cancer). The tumor had taken over her kidney and was beginning to spread. Within 72 hours she was in the operating room having her kidney and the tumor removed, and I was thinking, “What am I going to do now?”

No mother ever wants to see their child endure any type of pain, sickness, or suffering. No mother ever imagines living the worst possible scenario with one of their children. It was extremely hard to watch my daughter go through a 5 ½ hour operation and then battle 7 months of chemotherapy and radiation. Every week for 28 weeks I went to the hospital with my daughter for chemotherapy. For 6 days straight, she endured the wrath of radiation.

For those 28 weeks, I watched her happy sweet smile dwindle down in fear as we approached the hospital doors. I watched her cry, scream, fight, and yell. She would ask, “Why?” and tell me she didn’t want to keep doing this. Every chemo treatment I held my daughter on my pregnant lap while they accessed her port for chemo. I held her while she would get sick from the chemo drugs. We cried together, we laughed together, we played games and made memories. During those 28 weeks we had a lot of bad days, but we also had a lot of good days.

I have had a lot of trials, tribulations, and heartache in my adult life, but nothing like this. Seeing my child go through pain, day after day, week after week, and looking her in the eyes and feeling completely helpless was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As a mom you want to “fix” what’s wrong, but I couldn’t “fix” my daughter. I could never take away her pain, or give her extra energy, but I could hold her as she was in pain and cry with her. I couldn’t help her from feeling sick and throwing up, but I could comfort her with my presence and love. I couldn’t stop her hair from falling out because of the chemo and radiation, but I could tell her how beautiful she was and help her feel happy about the way she looked. I couldn’t help her run like all other 5 year olds, but I could pick her up when she would fall, and tell her it’s okay. I couldn’t take away the fear and anxiety she had when I couldn’t be with her all the time, but I could let her know that I would be close by.

Cancer is a lot of things, but I didn’t know it was a teacher. Cancer taught me that kids are TOUGH, kids are STRONG, and they are the glue that hold us together. Cancer taught me to appreciate the human body and what it can do. Cancer taught me just how real God and faith are and the power that they supply in our lives. Cancer taught me that in a world of unknowns, there is still a place for peace. Cancer taught me that the world is full of good people who desire to support, love, and serve. Cancer taught me that “typical moms” are extraordinary people and equipped to handle the most demanding of responsibilities. Cancer taught me that although I can’t “fix” everything around me, I can make things better. I learned that through our own trials, we are strengthened by others’ faith, hope, and kindness.  I learned how to love and love what is most important – my family and my God. I learned how family, friends, and a community can be strengthened by one tiny person.  Although, I hope to never be this intimate with cancer again, I learned that I can be grateful for the journeys of this life and the lessons learned by living it.

Summer fun, No More Chemo, Bell rining and MAW

Time just got away from us. Reece has completed her Chemotherapy and had her last CT scan and Echo testing on June 1^st. We met with her Dr’s just after and were informed that all the testing came back with no signs of Cancer!!! Her CT was clear and her Echo of her heart looked good. It was an exciting day for sure. We are so happy and so grateful she is all done with chemo and is now CANCER FREE!! It feels so surreal looking back and seeing how far Reece has come, how much she has changed and grown in the past 7 months. I honestly can’t believe how well she got through this and how well she is feeling now. I am just amazed and full of gratitude. We have had a hard few years and maybe we are on a path that will be easier for our family!

 Just 3 days after her testing we took our trip up to visit all the Turner family in Washington for a reunion.  We got to spend 4 days with my sister’s family in Richland and then the next 7 days at the Turner farm. It was such a fun time with family, the kids had a BLAST playing with all their cousins NON-stop! Reece was so excited to see everyone and I’m so happy she was done with treatment so she could enjoy her summer. We got home June 18^th just in time for Reece’s birthday party and Bell ceremony on the 20^th. We had a great turnout and such a great support group there to celebrate with her. It was such a special day for her and she was just glowing and smiling ear to ear. After the ceremony we headed to Liberty Park in SL and had a party with her friends and ate cupcakes, had a piñata and prizes. It was a hot and sweaty day but the kids had fun and played in the splash pad for a while. Reece was happy that Grandma Turner got to come down and be at her party and bell ringing. It was a very big day and so special. Celebrating her birth after 6 years and then celebrating “end of chemo”.

On June 23^rd Reece had her port removed…. YAYYYY!!! That was an exciting day actually. Having the port removed was a great feeling that chemo was done and the cancer is gone!! She did amazing for the minor surgery and had not complained at all since. The only thing is she couldn’t swim for a couple weeks L but we are over that now!

(Reece) For my birthday I wanted Lego Friends, lots of Legos!!! My mom and dad got me the Lego pop star tour bus and pop star Lego house. I was so excited because that’s just what I wanted. I also got 4 other Lego sets from my friends. I have them all put together now and love to play with them every day. Before I got my port out I was swimming a lot and love the water. I can now go under the water and hold my breath. My friends Kazia, Daxton and Ainsley are moving soon and I’m so sad. We play with them all the time and I will be sad when they move away and we can’t see them anymore. I’m excited to start 1^st grade this fall and wish my teacher Mrs. Brun could come with me.  

          

          We’ve had a great summer so far. Nothing very exciting yet but I want to plan a trip before the summer is over. The kids are already tired of each other…and then momma gets cranky! Then other times they play well and have the best time together. A side note is the kids ADORE their little brother Liam. He is the center of attention and it’s so fun to watch them even when they fight over him. It’s usually “he/she won’t let me see Liam, I can’t see him”. Which basically means I’m not directly in front of his face!! Liam is growing so fast and it’s sad but exciting at the same time. He is starting to roll, eat food (he didn’t find it very fun at first and would actually cry ) He is growing up fast and its super fun to watch the kids love on him and want to play with him. I didn’t get this with Reece and Turner they were too close in age to even care. 

        I almost forgot about MAW (make a wish). the same week as her birthday, port removal, Reece got to go to the MAW foundation and make her wish! It was so amazing and a neat experience. They had a super cute welcome sign when she arrived. We got a tour and some history about the foundation. Then we went upstairs to the wishing table and talked. After she wrote down her wish and we went into the "Wishing Tower" she had a special key to unlock the door and inside is where she got to put her wish into the Wizards hat to be granted! We had such a fun and neat experience and the kids enjoyed every minute. Now we just wait for the board to approve her wish. So far things are going well and her wish of Disney World will be happening!!

No More Chemo and Cancer FREE !!!

It’s been 3 weeks since Reece had her last chemo treatment. It’s been kind of crazy to think actually. I have been struggling with some of my own health problems and that has been difficult on all of us. I am grateful for how well Reece has been doing and I’m grateful that God has blessed us with so much through this. As I mentioned before our family has had a rough 3 years in so many ways and I think back to over 3 years ago when I thought things couldn’t get any worse. Then they did one thing after another, but somehow we always managed to get through it and pick ourselves up. Then the cycle would start over when Reece was diagnosed. Now we are finished with Chemo and Reece just had her last CT scan and testing done to see how well she responded to chemo. I’m happy to say Reece is CANCER FREE!!!! Her CT scan came out clear and her Echo of her heart looked good. Reece will be followed by her oncologist for the rest of her life but closely for the next 18 months. She will go in for x-rays and ultrasounds every 3 months.  I am terrified for the future, but you would never know. I’m worried about what could happen or will happen from her treatment. I’m trying very hard to just take a day at a time, and not think about the future and enjoy these moments with my children. I am so happy and excited that Reece has beat her battle, she was a good fighter! I am so proud of her and how much she has accomplished in her soon to be 6 years! She truly is my “rock” she has had a lot of medical problems starting at a young age, but Reece just fights through. Cancer sucks but what I’ve learned is to just face it head on and CHARGE!!!

Today I just read 2 posts of 2 little cancer warriors who are fighting to live. I am heartbroken for them and their families. I know that God lives, he loves his children more than we can imagine, but it’s so hard to see and watch them suffer. I believe God has a plan for everyone, he knows the path of our lives and sadly these children’s path ends sooner than we would like. Although I believe this I am human and it HURTS, it pains me to watch this, it pains me to not be able to help. I HATE it, but I believe that all children are given a special opportunity on this earth to do something great. They will leave a very BIG foot print in our lives however short it may be. I pray and send hope and love to those families who have lost a child. I don’t know how you feel and don’t understand your pain. May God bless you through this difficult time.

(

from Reece)

I graduated from Kindergarten. It was SOOOOO fun. I had the BEST teacher and I want to be in her class forever. I keep telling my mom I don’t want school to be over. Although I am very excited to go to my grandma Turners house this next week. She is in China right now but we are going to her house and will see all my cousins. I am super excited and happy to play with them. I want Lego friend’s pop star Legos for my birthday!! I hope I get the Lego pop star house. Tonight we are going to the Zoo for “dream night”, all children with cancer or disabilities are invited. I’m glad we got tickets because they are doing face painting and train rides and elephant show.  

When I see my friends and people I talk to I say “I’m cancer free”! I am so excited and happy I don’t have to get my port accessed anymore and I don’t have to have any more chemo drugs that make me sick.