One Year!! WOW

Nov. 13th 2016

 

I have been thinking about this day and this month for some time. My heart if more than full of gratitude and thanks for our sweet Reece being with us today and being healthy. One year ago today our entire family was struck with very devastating news. I remember the day like it was yesterday. Reece was just our sweet energetic 5 year old girl, going to kindergarten and playing like any other 5 year old would. She was so full of life and so happy. It happened in a matter of 24 hours when our sweet happy go lucky and healthy Reece went from being happy, energetic and fun girl to being admitted in the hospital with a diagnoses of “cancer” and 72 hours later she was being wheeled into an operating room to have her kidney and tumor removed. 

People often asked me, “How did you do it? How do you get through it all? How are you holding together so well? I can’t imagine going through what you did and being pregnant.” I’ll be honest it took me about 2 weeks of being in denial before I came to terms that Reece indeed had cancer. With every ounce of my determined mind I didn’t want to accept it, I even didn’t say the word “cancer”. Some days were hard but then I realized that 2 things could happen….. 1 I can be unhappy, sad and miserable and continue to ask why….. Or 2 I can move forward, take 1 day at a time, be positive, and find Joy this Journey God has given to our family. I wasn’t going to pick the first one, no way. I was pregnant and had a baby growing inside me and had a family to take care of so right then I decided that I had to find Joy this Journey!!

Reece struggled a lot that first week and even the first month, she was trying to understand what was going on, why she was in the hospital, why she was now feeling so sick, why they poked her all the time and gave her yucky medicine, why her hair was falling out….why, why, why? Watching her was heartbreaking to say the least. There were good days during our journey and there were really bad days. We tried our best to stay upbeat and positive for her, we tried to see the good from the situation and not focus on the bad. I worked hard to find the “Joy in our Journey”. Was it easy? ABSOLUTELY not! But was it worth it? Absolutely yes! I’m sure some people will find my response appalling when I say, what we went through was a blessing not a curse. 

I know that God lives, he loves ALL of his children, he has a plan for us and we have to be willing to accept that plan. We chose the life we have, we knew what we would be part of, we just don’t remember it. This life we have been given is a gift. We were not sent here to achieve complete greatness without any real struggles or trials and heartache. We were sent here to be tested and tried and yes many of those trials are going to be difficult and some downright dreadful, but NEVER will we be alone in our trials.  “God never said it would be easy he only said it would be worth it”. I see that now after one year watching Reece go through so much pain and suffering and heartache and for what? This journey was for her, for our family to received and achieve a greater blessing, it was for all the friendships we made, all the people we met along the way, for all those who touched us without even knowing they did. This was probably the biggest test of faith I think I could go through. This was a faith building trial. Blessings come in all forms and this Journey was a HUGE blessing. 

Some days I still feel like we are just getting started and our Journey is just beginning. We are not done yet, although Reece is currently cancer free, and has no signs of cancer, our Journey is still not over. She will continue to be watched, continue to have tests her entire life. I hope and pray that the Journey God has sent us on will help us grow even more and achieve more. Looking back one year ago I know for sure that I am not the same person I was a year ago and for that I have nothing but a full heart and to be grateful.

BabyCubby blog post

I had the privilege to write a blog post for a online store/blogger. It was a very humbling experience to say the least. I was able to really think about things "after" the fact and see it from a different perspective as a mom who has been through the battle. 

http://www.babycubby.com/baby-cubby-blog/meet-erin-what-my-daughters-cancer-taught-me/

Ten months ago I was a “typical mom”. I woke up, got the kids dressed, fixed breakfast, got kids off to school, cleaned the kitchen, started the laundry, cleaned the house, and went grocery shopping, and so on. Then in a matter of 24 hours my life changed in a way I never imagined. My “typical mom” life was interrupted by cancer.

My daughter Reece was 5 years old when she was diagnosed with a “Wilms tumor” (kidney cancer). The tumor had taken over her kidney and was beginning to spread. Within 72 hours she was in the operating room having her kidney and the tumor removed, and I was thinking, “What am I going to do now?”

No mother ever wants to see their child endure any type of pain, sickness, or suffering. No mother ever imagines living the worst possible scenario with one of their children. It was extremely hard to watch my daughter go through a 5 ½ hour operation and then battle 7 months of chemotherapy and radiation. Every week for 28 weeks I went to the hospital with my daughter for chemotherapy. For 6 days straight, she endured the wrath of radiation.

For those 28 weeks, I watched her happy sweet smile dwindle down in fear as we approached the hospital doors. I watched her cry, scream, fight, and yell. She would ask, “Why?” and tell me she didn’t want to keep doing this. Every chemo treatment I held my daughter on my pregnant lap while they accessed her port for chemo. I held her while she would get sick from the chemo drugs. We cried together, we laughed together, we played games and made memories. During those 28 weeks we had a lot of bad days, but we also had a lot of good days.

I have had a lot of trials, tribulations, and heartache in my adult life, but nothing like this. Seeing my child go through pain, day after day, week after week, and looking her in the eyes and feeling completely helpless was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As a mom you want to “fix” what’s wrong, but I couldn’t “fix” my daughter. I could never take away her pain, or give her extra energy, but I could hold her as she was in pain and cry with her. I couldn’t help her from feeling sick and throwing up, but I could comfort her with my presence and love. I couldn’t stop her hair from falling out because of the chemo and radiation, but I could tell her how beautiful she was and help her feel happy about the way she looked. I couldn’t help her run like all other 5 year olds, but I could pick her up when she would fall, and tell her it’s okay. I couldn’t take away the fear and anxiety she had when I couldn’t be with her all the time, but I could let her know that I would be close by.

Cancer is a lot of things, but I didn’t know it was a teacher. Cancer taught me that kids are TOUGH, kids are STRONG, and they are the glue that hold us together. Cancer taught me to appreciate the human body and what it can do. Cancer taught me just how real God and faith are and the power that they supply in our lives. Cancer taught me that in a world of unknowns, there is still a place for peace. Cancer taught me that the world is full of good people who desire to support, love, and serve. Cancer taught me that “typical moms” are extraordinary people and equipped to handle the most demanding of responsibilities. Cancer taught me that although I can’t “fix” everything around me, I can make things better. I learned that through our own trials, we are strengthened by others’ faith, hope, and kindness.  I learned how to love and love what is most important – my family and my God. I learned how family, friends, and a community can be strengthened by one tiny person.  Although, I hope to never be this intimate with cancer again, I learned that I can be grateful for the journeys of this life and the lessons learned by living it.

Summer fun, No More Chemo, Bell rining and MAW

Time just got away from us. Reece has completed her Chemotherapy and had her last CT scan and Echo testing on June 1^st. We met with her Dr’s just after and were informed that all the testing came back with no signs of Cancer!!! Her CT was clear and her Echo of her heart looked good. It was an exciting day for sure. We are so happy and so grateful she is all done with chemo and is now CANCER FREE!! It feels so surreal looking back and seeing how far Reece has come, how much she has changed and grown in the past 7 months. I honestly can’t believe how well she got through this and how well she is feeling now. I am just amazed and full of gratitude. We have had a hard few years and maybe we are on a path that will be easier for our family!

 Just 3 days after her testing we took our trip up to visit all the Turner family in Washington for a reunion.  We got to spend 4 days with my sister’s family in Richland and then the next 7 days at the Turner farm. It was such a fun time with family, the kids had a BLAST playing with all their cousins NON-stop! Reece was so excited to see everyone and I’m so happy she was done with treatment so she could enjoy her summer. We got home June 18^th just in time for Reece’s birthday party and Bell ceremony on the 20^th. We had a great turnout and such a great support group there to celebrate with her. It was such a special day for her and she was just glowing and smiling ear to ear. After the ceremony we headed to Liberty Park in SL and had a party with her friends and ate cupcakes, had a piñata and prizes. It was a hot and sweaty day but the kids had fun and played in the splash pad for a while. Reece was happy that Grandma Turner got to come down and be at her party and bell ringing. It was a very big day and so special. Celebrating her birth after 6 years and then celebrating “end of chemo”.

On June 23^rd Reece had her port removed…. YAYYYY!!! That was an exciting day actually. Having the port removed was a great feeling that chemo was done and the cancer is gone!! She did amazing for the minor surgery and had not complained at all since. The only thing is she couldn’t swim for a couple weeks L but we are over that now!

(Reece) For my birthday I wanted Lego Friends, lots of Legos!!! My mom and dad got me the Lego pop star tour bus and pop star Lego house. I was so excited because that’s just what I wanted. I also got 4 other Lego sets from my friends. I have them all put together now and love to play with them every day. Before I got my port out I was swimming a lot and love the water. I can now go under the water and hold my breath. My friends Kazia, Daxton and Ainsley are moving soon and I’m so sad. We play with them all the time and I will be sad when they move away and we can’t see them anymore. I’m excited to start 1^st grade this fall and wish my teacher Mrs. Brun could come with me.  

          

          We’ve had a great summer so far. Nothing very exciting yet but I want to plan a trip before the summer is over. The kids are already tired of each other…and then momma gets cranky! Then other times they play well and have the best time together. A side note is the kids ADORE their little brother Liam. He is the center of attention and it’s so fun to watch them even when they fight over him. It’s usually “he/she won’t let me see Liam, I can’t see him”. Which basically means I’m not directly in front of his face!! Liam is growing so fast and it’s sad but exciting at the same time. He is starting to roll, eat food (he didn’t find it very fun at first and would actually cry ) He is growing up fast and its super fun to watch the kids love on him and want to play with him. I didn’t get this with Reece and Turner they were too close in age to even care. 

        I almost forgot about MAW (make a wish). the same week as her birthday, port removal, Reece got to go to the MAW foundation and make her wish! It was so amazing and a neat experience. They had a super cute welcome sign when she arrived. We got a tour and some history about the foundation. Then we went upstairs to the wishing table and talked. After she wrote down her wish and we went into the "Wishing Tower" she had a special key to unlock the door and inside is where she got to put her wish into the Wizards hat to be granted! We had such a fun and neat experience and the kids enjoyed every minute. Now we just wait for the board to approve her wish. So far things are going well and her wish of Disney World will be happening!!